Identity
by Leto
Identity, identity. How can anyone live without one? Sure, I'm one of a species, so someone can recognise me as that, but the species I am, is nothing.
"Ditto! Transform!"
That's the order. That's always the order, isn't it? I don't have any power. My only power is other Pokemon's power. Without them, what am I?
You don't have an identity if you're nothing without others.
"Ditto! Transform!"
She's gettin' impatient, my master is.
You know what would be great? If I could have my own power. Besides transform. Maybe I could be a fire Pokemon... an electric one... a water one... ? I have the power of every other Pokemon in me, so I should be able to use it, shouldn't I?
"DITTO!"
Fine, fine. I transform, but my mind is still wandering.
"Oh, just look at you," she groans, but looks intrigued anyway.
I can't see myself, so I walk over to one of the many mirrors around the House of Imité and look at myself. No wonder she was a bit shocked. A fire Pokemon, water Pokemon and electric Pokemon... I have the fins of a Vaporeon, the yellow coat of an electric Pokemon, and I can feel without looking into a mirror the flame burning brightly on my tail.
I'm a weird Pokemon. A combination of Pokemon. A new Pokemon! Now I'm my own species, whatever that is. But after my power runs out I'll be a nothing Pokemon again. So this new identity isn't worth anything.
But I still have the face of a Ditto. I won't give up on that. Master is always begging me to evolve properly. But even for her, I won't. She likes me anyway. Even though I'm just a Ditto, she likes me, so it doesn't matter if I don't evolve my face. I'm a Ditto, not some other Pokemon, so I wanna hold some of my identity.
I do a battle and it's easy because water and electricity in an attack together are good fighting weapons.
Then I'm back inside the dark, dark Pokeball. Just like every other Pokemon, living in a Pokeball, but I'm not like every other Pokemon. I *am* every other Pokemon and I hate it because I don't know WHO I am.
And I confuse myself thinking about this, especially in here. Pokeballs just make you want to fall asleep until Master calls you... because it's so dark...
***
Okay, these two weird humans and cat Pokemon want me to transform for them. I can do that. They seem to like me.
I transform but for some reason they don't like it. I think it's because I keep my Ditto face. Well, too bad if they don't like it. Master thinks I'm okay, even if she does get disappointed in me. I'm sorry about that but how can I help it? I am a Ditto.
I wanna be a Ditto and have power of my own, like a normal Pokemon. Why can't I just stop thinkin' this?
They're getting mean. They really are. I'm afraid of them, I have to admit. I get scared easily. I guess Dittos are spineless. If I turned into a Charizard or Arbok I wouldn't be scared, but I'd rather be scared as a Ditto than feel powerful as something I'm not. 'Cos my personality changes a bit when I transform. Every time I fight a Pokemon I haven't seen before, I get scared 'cos I don't know what their way of thinkin' is. I worry that it might be so different to mine that I'll be such a different personality, and I won't be able to change back...
Then I'd be stuck in an identity that's not mine.
I don't want to transform unless I have to.
But I do have to. They're threatening me. Nobody ever threatened me.
"Transform right," they're saying.
Transforming right, even to my face, means lettin' go of my personality totally. Then I'll be a totally different Pokemon... but it won't be real.
I don't have a choice. I don't want them to hurt me. I transform.
I do it right, and feel myself slipping away. Master will be happy.
I guess nobody really likes me unless I can properly become someone else. So Ditto really don't have no worth. It's confirmed now, by seein' the way dese weird two people and cat are happy. Master is very happy too. She thanks dem.
Thanks dem for killin' my personality?
I'm a Meowth now. But only for a few minutes.